"People of our time are losing the power of celebration. Instead of celebrating we seek to be amused or entertained. Celebration is an active state, an act of expressing reverence or appreciation. To be entertained is a passive state--it is to receive pleasure afforded by an amusing act or a spectacle. Celebration is a confrontation, giving attention to the transcendent meaning of one's actions."

What doesn't kill us makes us bitter. I used to believe that to be both funny and true. Years later I learned that pain could also be the touchstone for personal growth, which of course points back to the original saying, "what doesn't kill us makes us better." Not funny, but perhaps closer to the truth. Or at least the truth I choose to believe in these days. So, having recently experienced a bit of pain, am I better? Well, let's review: I think I'm fairly immune to name-calling now. I'm not sure I could have made that claim a few months ago. I've also come to see that the things I used to think were big deals, are not. Problems appear to be relative. If you have a big one, it makes all the others seem almost charming in comparison. And finally, when your life takes a path you could never have foreseen, it's humbling. In a good way. It's kind of like a friendly reminder from the universe that while you may think you have the starring role in the movie of your life, you're actually just a bit player trying to grab a quesadilla off the craft services table when no one's looking.

So, to sum up: I now have a thicker skin, I'm less likely to sweat the small stuff, and, perhaps most importantly, I have a renewed sense of humility. All in all, better. 

I saw a woman the other day. She was very pretty. Sparkly. We exchanged several awkward glances until I finally screwed up the courage to walk up to her. I fumblingly introduced myself and asked if we'd met before.

She stared at me for a few seconds, her head tilting to the side like a confused Labradoodle, then said, "I should think so. We used to date."

My eyes widened. My jaw dropped.

"Oh my god," she said, "I can't believe you don't remember!" I shrugged and said, "I'm sorry. I honestly don't."

She went on to inform me that this all happened many years ago, back when we were in college. Apparently I was the worst boyfriend she ever had and our time together was, by far, the worst year of her life.

I silently took this in.

"Well?" she said, "What do you have to say for yourself?"

I slowly shook my head and said, "No, I think you've confused me with someone else."

I then walked away very quickly .

good times bad times

I am about to be 30 and my life is such a mess , No future , no aspirations , no gold in pocket  , no sex on horizon. no friends in background , no porosches , no mansions .

HI my name is G , well I was always not that depressive , non coherent  . self pity lad .  , on the contrary I was a destined supernova  heir apparent to the king of good times . .You Know when I was a youngie when concept of right and wrong had'nt dawned on me , I used to think Of myself as the Special One  , superior from the masses a blue blood if you will , and believe it or not  I lived quite a bit of my life as a special one ,  as a star among them all the black holes.When got ready to face the world   first came Strauss then came monk ,then came Mary Jane ,then came Lucy , then came the whole lot of them with different names shapes and sizes ............ .And finally Trouble came that too with all its cousins ,  nieces and just about everyone it knew and they have stayed here since then , changing my neons and purples into pitch black darkness . .But still you might catch me with songs about  good ol times and jack and jane in my hands . ...




In the days of my youth, I was told what it means to be a man,Now I've reached that age, I've tried to do all those things the best I can.No matter how I try, I find my way into the same old jam.

This too shall pass

Whenever I've gone through tough times, well-meaning people have told me that God/the universe does not give us more than we can handle. Well, I've been going through a tough time recently, and sure enough, that old saying has been tossed my way on several morose occasions. After some careful consideration, I've decided it's bull$#*!. As an aphorism, it only makes sense in hindsight - after you've managed to crawl from the wreckage of whatever calamity that God/the universe decided to toss your way. No one ever uses it to comfort someone who's been hit by a bus or turned into a puddle of goo by flesh-eating bacteria (although in the right circumstance, that could be a hoot). Another thing I hear a lot is, "this too shall pass." Again, I know these are words meant to reassure, but somehow they always leave me feeling that heartbreak, rage and grief are going to come shooting out of me like kidney stones through an inflamed urethra. For someone in crisis, I think a more accurate and helpful assessment of reality would be, "Love, sex, food, friendship, art, play, beauty and the simple pleasure of a cup of tea are all well and good, but never forget that God/the universe is determined to kill you by whatever means necessary." Consider trying that next time you're called on to do some consoling. If you're feeling impish, you might also try, "According to the rules of comedy, your suffering will be funny after an undetermined length of time. Maybe not while you're having your gangrenous leg sawed off, watching your home burn down or learning how to be intimate with your cellmate, but, in the big scheme of things, soon."

get over

I believe that in order to walk through grief, fear, loneliness, despair, confusion and anger without recourse to drugs, alcohol, over-eating, over-sexing, or the endless mind-numbing distractions provided by Western culture, one must become a spiritual warrior. I further believe that the pay-off for enduring suffering, for soberly embracing the inevitable bouts of emotional pain that life brings, is wisdom and serenity in the face of calamity. But make no mistake here, the path of the warrior is treacherous and cannot be walked alone. To survive, he must have brothers and sisters-in-arms to carry him when he buckles. When we lived and died in small tribes, this principle of mutually supporting one another through the trials of life was deeply woven into the fabric of the group mind. With the advent of towns and cities we were forced to live with the daily dilemma of being desperately alone and yet desperately needing one another. Which is why we are, by design, always seeking new tribes. With that in mind, I humbly offer a simple guideline to evaluate the efficacy of any tribe you might encounter on your path to becoming a spiritual warrior: if they ask for your money or access to your crotch, run away. If they ask for your money, smile unceasingly, never blink, and guarantee to make you a demi-god, running away will not suffice. Change your mailing address and briefly reconsider drugs, alcohol, food, sex and TV.

musings

Don't fall for a woman who has had sex with one of your rock n'roll heroes. No matter how emotionally evolved you think you are, you will never enjoy listening to Eric Clapton again. 
Don't use emoticons. You're too old to communicate like a twelve-year old girl. 
Don't forget that you are the product of a culture that went stark raving mad about ten thousand years ago. Adjust your thinking accordingly.
Don't eat anything bigger than your head. True in the sixties, true today.
Don't believe that crap that you're as young as you feel. Your feelings lie. 
Don't hug men while shaking their hand. Enough already with that. The shake/hug (shug?) is probably something Roman guys did when their empire was in decline