I saw a woman the other day. She was very pretty. Sparkly. We exchanged several awkward glances until I finally screwed up the courage to walk up to her. I fumblingly introduced myself and asked if we'd met before.

She stared at me for a few seconds, her head tilting to the side like a confused Labradoodle, then said, "I should think so. We used to date."

My eyes widened. My jaw dropped.

"Oh my god," she said, "I can't believe you don't remember!" I shrugged and said, "I'm sorry. I honestly don't."

She went on to inform me that this all happened many years ago, back when we were in college. Apparently I was the worst boyfriend she ever had and our time together was, by far, the worst year of her life.

I silently took this in.

"Well?" she said, "What do you have to say for yourself?"

I slowly shook my head and said, "No, I think you've confused me with someone else."

I then walked away very quickly .